Why I quit my $90K per year job to become a SAHM
The short answer is I realized that money really did not buy happiness.
After I became a mom, I changed in every way possible — emotionally, physically, spiritually. My heart grew and was full of love for the first time in forever.
People often talk about how they would kill and die for another person. I know I would do those things for Rory, but more importantly, she gave me something to live for.
The straw that broke the camel’s back happened in December 2023. At the time, I had returned to working from home after my maternity leave. It was the week before Christmas and Rory was 5 months old. I gave my husband a break and watched Rory during my lunch hour. In the final minutes of my lunch hour, I saw Rory sit up unassisted for the first time. I sat there shocked and elated that my baby was growing up right before my eyes. I still remember her gummy smile smiling back at me. Then the sinking feeling came that I could have easily missed the moment because I was preoccupied with work and I would likely miss more of these moments if things continued the way they were going.
Looking back now, I realize how fortunate I was in my career. My salary tripled in 4 years. I was promoted twice. I had unlimited time off and excellent health insurance. My income allowed me to purchase a home with my husband just before my 27th birthday. Easily things most people would kill for.
On paper, my husband and I had everything. Great careers, making over $200K a year collectively. Our own home, with space for our future family. Two new cars. Vacations every year. A concert every couple of months. Name brand everything.
What people didn’t know or see was the anxiety I faced nearly everyday. My eye twitched most days. My body would shake occasionally. I would get so nervous and worked up sometimes, I would get an upset stomach.
I worked over 8 hours a day most days. I rarely went outside or saw the sun. I thought about work even when I wasn’t on the clock or in front of my computer. My mind was constantly racing and I had a hard time falling asleep every night. I’d even dream about work.
I was emotionally drained by the end of the day every day and this even spilled into my off time. I wasn’t the wife I wanted or hoped to be, and I certainly wasn’t the mom that Rory deserved, so my husband and I made the decision that I would stop working and care for Rory full time.
I became a stay at home mom in early 2024. It took some time to get used to, but even with the loss of an income and the initial blow to my ego of not bringing in an income, I found a great sense of happiness and general completeness.
My days are far different now than what they were before Rory came along. I don’t monitor my inbox or try to make sense of spreadsheet data or write client-ready presentations. My days are now Disney music, swim lessons, library storytimes, dance parties, errands, cooking, cleaning and more. And somehow it just feels right.
Rory at a week old
“The short answer is I realized that money really did not buy happiness.”